Saturday, June 20, 2009


I'm not sure what's more annoying....watching Jon and Kate pimp out their children or the ongoing, inane TV cutesy chat concerning the amped up demise of their marriage? Why must I suffer yet another "TV celeb hottie talking head" with her shiny hair, blinding white teeth, push up bra, and power jewelry prattling on along with a teleprompter, chronicling the alleged affairs, emasculation, bitchiness, and child spanking in the driveway. "Is Kate cracking under pressure?"
"Does Kate spend too much time on her cell phone?" "Is Kate having an affair with her bodyguard?" "Are Kate and Jon Dunzo?" The new slang and verbage following this disaster is too much to bear! Oooohhh stay tuned Monday as Kate announced big changes!

I was never a fan of the show. I watched an episode several years ago and thought "Hey those kids are adorable, Wow! How do they do it?" My impression then turned to "Gee, she's bitchy!" and "He's kind of a doormat!" I felt more sorry for the kids than Kate or Jon. Were they asked to sign on season after season? Were they asked to be pimped out to the perverse curiosity of America? I get the novelty OK! A set of twins, then bang jackpot, jackpot again! Parenting is not all it's cracked up to be! I will be honest and say some days I wince at the word "mommy." Just as I'm sitting down with my husband, after a shitty day with a glass of wine. "Mommy!" Just as one of them finally goes down for a nap and the other is busy with a sharp pair of scissors and Super Glue. "Mommy!" Just as I, quietly as possible, turn the page of an outdated magazine. "Mommy!" It takes practice, patience, love, and lots of praying on my knees to simply not loose it and spiral into bitchy, overwhelmed, poor me, mommy mode.

None of us know Jon and Kate. We see hours of filming edited, spliced, only the juiciest bits delivered to us hot and fresh to our living rooms. Maybe she's not a bitch. If she is I will curtsy and proclaim she has every right to be with that many children. If Jon is a vapid, drooling punching bag of a man, I too shall give him some slack. Maybe he's not allowed to have a voice, maybe he does the best he can do? I can moderately guess they love their children and probably mean no malice to anyone.

I don't give a shit If they are "dunzo!" Affairs are a nasty sort and end up hurting all involved, even the most innocent ones. (Did he even have an affair? Being photographed with a female "friend" after hours, shutting down clubs is not the smartest move in hindsight. Dude, you're married with a ton of kids at home, isn't that where you should be?) I think about those kids several years from now. This will not be their parents shinning moment.

All I know and can loftily quip upon is MY mother-state-of-mind. Most days It's bliss! Most days I feel It's my calling. Most days I feel I'm getting the hang of it. Some days I'd like to go for a drive and not return. Some days I feel the weight of the world and would rather stay in bed. Some days I'd rather not have to brush teeth, change diapers, lug two small persons with me where ever I go. "Can't mommy use the bathroom! I need my privacy!"

A small twinge of guilt floods over me as I type that proceeding paragraph. OK, it passed! I LOVE MY CHILDREN and honestly can not imagine my wonderful, amusing, cartoonish, buffoonish, existence without them. I also have a husband who is an equal, who enjoys the rush of parenting, who sees this life at a bit of a different angle and gives me perspective and a chance to take my breath. We're dealt a certain hand and it's all in the playing. I've never had much of a poker face but do enjoy the game.

1 comment:

  1. love the ending line especially..also like your other mom posts... I think i might wantto be a little d too and come to your house..keep writing and dont forget to submit....